I gave up yoga and meditation for a week and here's what happened:
I heard myself. My desires. My unhappiness. I cried.. a lot. I vented and word-vomitted. I got a little bit snappy at times. I watched GIRLS. Ok.. I binge watched ALL of GIRLS. I read. I cried more. Listened more. I felt small. I felt my faults. And I felt human.
I temporarily shook off the pressure to be or to feel any better than I actually am. I wasn't manifesting. No affirmations. No intention setting. I wasn't releasing negativity. Instead, I felt it. I felt it all. When I was mad, I got good and angry. When I was sad, I shattered.
My yoga was filling me with the illusion that I needed to love more. Bigger. Harder. Without even realizing it, my practice was guilt-tripping me into trying to be all things. I am not all things.
My week off from yoga was a release. No morning intentions to trick myself into thinking that if I put in the work, I'll be loved. That if I'm just a little bit softer, I'll be seen.. noticed. That if I get my energy just right, I'll make it through the day. But ya know what? I still made it through the day. And the next one. And the next. And now I'm back on my mat every morning with more honesty. Less pressure. Just me.