The Art of Keeping a Secret

Originally published on iamthatgirl

I’m a private person. It might not always seem like it because I can be chatty when the situation calls for it (I love Instagram, own a business, and am an advocate for vulnerability), but in all of these situations, I’m honestly very choosy of what I share.

My tendency to keep things to myself can frustrate my friends and family at times, but it’s actually a quality I really like about myself, especially when we live in a time where information, gossip, and opinions are so prevalent.

"Being a more private person has allowed me to hold on to some magic in my personal life."

It has also helped me to become an excellent secret keeper for my friends and a perfect candidate to host surprise birthday parties.

So this is the advice I’ve comprised known as The Art of Keeping a Secret

Try not to analyze things before having a grasp on your stance and/or feelings.  

Sometimes when we share news too soon, we open ourselves up to the opinions of others. We might be excited about a crush, just to find out that our friends don’t like them. Practical pros and cons can wind up being a buzzkill to great news, or we might be feeling really down about a decision we made and our friend’s efforts to cheer us up can seem insensitive. For me, it’s important to sit with my emotions before opening them up to other people. I often find that my gut instinct is a great compass, but if other people’s analyzations creep in too soon then my instincts become harder to recognize.                                                        

Believe that you already have the power to make things happen. Then, decide from there who needs to be involved. 

I don’t like to “jinx” things and then have everyone knowing that I’m feeling down. Instead, I like to keep a level head and trust that I have the strength and ability to make things happen. I trust that I can navigate things for myself. And in the event that I am stressed, worried, or bubbling with excitement, I take care in deciding who I’d like to share my information with. It’s nice to know you have the right support system for the right situation, rather than feeling like everyone is involved in your business.

Revel in the magic and excitement that comes from having your own secret                                  

It can be a lot of fun to have news that you aren’t quite ready to share or to be the sole keeper of someone else’s great news and to share in their excitement. Secrets can add a healthy dose of passion and zest to your day. And who doesn’t like waking up feeling lively and ready for the day?!

Know the difference between having secrets vs bottling things up  

A secret is something you are keeping to yourself for the romance of it, or because you are still processing and taking time to listen to your instincts. A secret is not something that gives you anxiety or depression, it’s not something that makes you feel guilty, and it’s not something that is harming others. If you’re processing something hard but having trouble sharing with your friends and family, try sitting down with a therapist or counselor. Getting the conversation started with someone who values your privacy might be a great first step.