originally posted on iamthatgirl
I’ll be turning 27 soon and as I move through my 20s I can’t help but notice how much the
conversations around me have changed. I wonder if we grow so drastically in every decade, or if we start to find more consistency as we get older. I was expecting conversations to be dominated by careers, marriage, and families; but here, in this time of my mid-20s, all anyone wants to talk about is balance. Balance between work and play, between cleanses and “cheat days,” between hard work and self-care, or between giving and receiving. I’ve decided that I’m bored with it. I’m so over balancing.
To be honest, it’s a conversation I’ve been struggling with for a while now. While I understand the importance of feeling fulfilled, the current emphasis on self-care has come across as very privileged to me.
I feel like we’re talking about balance as if it is a luxury, when really, it’s an instinct, and it is way less complicated than we think.
Lately I’ve been thinking that I wish these dialogues on balance and self-care felt more inclusive to all people. I also wish we didn’t treat balance like a synonym for rest. What if what you actually need is more adventure? More late-night dancing? What if, in our attempt to enhance our selves, we just dove deeper into life?
A dear friend once told me that I’m too much like the ocean to ever be balanced. I relate so much more to ebbing and flowing and cycles and seasons. With my birthday just around the corner, I’ve decided that this is my year of unbalancing. I’ve gotten to know myself well enough to know that I appreciate when things move fast. I like squeezing in as many events and tasks into a single day as I possibly can. I like flowing through phases that are overworked, overzealous, or in the other direction, lazy and introverted, without worrying about levelingthings out.
And I honestly don’t need balance to be yet another thing I feel like I’m not doing well, or often enough.
Because the reality is, I’m old enough to know how to say “no” to an invitation if I need to stay home and rest. I can also be spontaneous on a Tuesday night without worrying if a night out is cutting into “me time.” I’m old enough to know that a bubble bath relaxes me, but to not need to have one scheduled weekly in order to feel like I’m taking care of myself. I’m allowed to dive into as many emotional highs and lows as I please, especially if they help my creative process. And I’m allowed to binge eat all day Sunday and then NOT start a
cleanse on Monday.
In my year of unbalancing I’m allowing myself to trust in my own intuition and the timing of things laid out for me. I’m rejecting the idea that I need to be a mild and disciplined version of myself. I think, by age 27, I’m allowed to be way more than balanced.